Some times it's a little trick. When a person reaches out, already stressed and worried, they're looking for comfort. Not the battery of questions and attitude that the situation stirs up. Some one to be level head and calm, most importantly reassuring. I used to be very good at dealing with high stress situations, but lately I haven't been on my A game. I can't compound my stress when looking for a little help. Thanks, but you failed.

This whole diabetes thing is a bit overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that it seems ever time I go into an appoiment something else is wrong. Everone wants to run all these test. No one can tell me if my liver is fine. Just looking for some good news.

So I run through the paces at the Southcentral Primary Care today. Got my 15 mins of face time with a PA, cause my doctor is out and about saving the world. I glance over on a sheet and they have blue cross as my insurance. Wonder since when? Haven't had them as a insurance carrier for about 10 years. I know they've billed the hell out of my insurance for knee stuff. Oh well. Waiting to grab my meds, it's been about 40 mins. The rest of the US will feel my pain soon with the new health care.

Senator replied...

Well at least I got a reply to an email I sent. It was short and sweet.
"Please do what the state of Alaska would have you do in the matter of Don't ask, Don't tell."
The reply I got. ..

March 15, 2010
Dear Mr. Dupes:
Thank you for your letter regarding the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I agree the current law should be reviewed. It has been fifteen years since this policy was instituted and in that time we have lost hundreds of qualified Americans who wish to honorably serve our country. As a result one hundred retired admirals and generals, including former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General John Shalikashvili, have called for the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." This is further evidence American society has evolved since 1993 and the laws of our country should reflect this change. There is currently no Senate legislation on the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," but should a bill come before us for consideration, I will keep your thoughts in mind. Thank you for your concern about this issue. Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future if I can ever be of assistance to you on this, or any other matter.

Sincerely,
Mark Begich
U.S. Senator

I guess I haven't evolved much...

Deep questions...

What to write about, what to write...

A question that's deep in my mind.

I've had 3 knee surgeries to the same knee. It's not pleasant, and I've taken myself off the vicodin after being addicted to them for several years. I hardly get a decent nights sleep as any pressure on the knee either way wakes me to adjust and what not. I don't want to mentioned all the affect it has had on my life but there's plenty. The cold weather really affect me poorly. So why the hell am I still in Alaska?

I have a 3 year old daughter that I love deeply and do anything I can for. This of course means staying in Alaska to be near her so I can see her and be in her life. She brings a smile to my face whenever I see her. As you can guess, she doesn't live with me. Her mother is great to her and her brother. So there's no reason what so ever to ever think of taking her away from a great home and family she has.

So what it boils down to is this, I'm killing myself living in this arctic hell hole to be with my daughter. When is it OK to head for warmer ground without the feeling of abandoning her? Will it ever? I hate lifes questions some times...

I'm not a conservative?

I had a co-worker of mine tell me I'm not conservative. I responded that I was, I'm not a far right wing, republican nut, that's all. Of course he tried to convince me that he held the conservative values. So, as a matter of principle, and the fact that I was bored, I begun to question the man.

1. Should the government allow gay marriage? His answer was NO. Then I explained to him that under real conservative thinking, government plays no role in religion and marriage is a religious ceremony.

Oddly enough, that was that and there was no more questions needed. He wandered off.

I know, I made so many of you happy out there. Don't think I've changed my opinion on things. I just see things black and white.

The great break away

I'm gonna vent a lil. Darts is something I do out of enjoyment and now, for very little money too. Against the wishes of a few people, I didn't go full bore into supporting running Medalist darts out of ONLY the Moose Club here in Anchorage. I knew Muldoon has been long forsaken and the Whaler would do great with it's own in-house dart league. I also really wanted to give Time Out Lounge a chance. The way I saw it, we allowed ourselves to be roped in to only one location. It was actually nice cause then every one was there and what not, but the down side, everything revolved around one bar. Now, I've brought in 2. Of course to do so, I restructured the pay outs and allowed people to make their own choices. People still went over to the Moose, and that's great, I feel the more locations the better. I did though have to give up being President of the dart association to run / operate my leagues. Sucks, but I do stand to make a little bit of money do so, so it is what it is. Now there's people out there saying I'm getting rich off this. I would like to know how. I organize and operate the league. I know the in's and out's. I've done them before. In fact I have done it for Hallie for free for HIM.

Now let's not confuse my leagues for the "Blind Draw". Here's a shocker, I don't care about the Blind Draw at all. It can be held in Nome as far as I care. Ya see I'm of teh mind set, the more opportunities to play darts the better. In CA and WA, there's blind draw and side tournaments almost every day of the week at different locations. So why does Anchorage, AK have a problem doing the same? Greed, narrow minds and the unwillingness to work together. It's a shame really.

So let's look at numbers. The Moose Club in Anchorage operates 3 leagues for a total of 28 people. D.S.C. Ventures operates 6 leagues for a total of 52 people between the 2 locations. I do see it growing at the Time Out Lounge as they've managed to embrace the leagues and it's players. The Whaler will grow also as it's location allows for those people in Eagle River and close to the bases a place to play well ran leagues without driving all the way into midtown. The difference in the D.S.C. Ventures locations and The Moose. The Moose tried to buy their players, cheap drinks (small too), great food (It is yummy!) and paying the players $30.00 fees (The Medalist player fee that's supposed to be paid by the player and not the location. Tsk, tsk.) but it's a private club, so in order to play out of there, you must pay the once a year $50.00 member fee (I'm guessing at amount.) D.S.C. Ventures has it's players pay the fees and a person to run the leagues. I know what games haven't been played, I update a web page with standings and schedule, I collect the sheet weekly. All the locations are great to play out of (though I've never played out of the Moose since soft tips moved in). Just saying, more locations, more people, shows a growth in our sport.

I'm glad that I did it this way. The people playing within my leagues are fun and we're all having a good time. It's fun to be able to give people more of their money and encourage better play over all. I'm disappointed that all this may kill the association. Only time will tell.